-

2008-11-12T09:06:00.002+08:00

It's not fair that I have to do all the work just because E is in an emotional turmoil and at the verge of breaking up, and A just broke up on their 9th monthsary. It's not fair that I have to stay up in school til late to cover 3 persons' work. Srsly. I get it that you are upset. I get it, love hurts. I wouldn't care if this was individual work and you refuse to do it. I don't think you'll even show a careless attitude if it was individual. Because you know that there will always be other group members(in this case, only me) who will do the work for you. Because it affects my grades.

Dickheads. I don't understand why some boys just don't get it that their girlfriends have a lot to do. I don't get why they always have to throw a bitchfit. Obviously school is far more important than anything else. It's not like you're going to get married to that bastard. It's not like 'forever' ever exists.

Gah. People are so sickening. From now on, I will think of myself first. I will put myself before others. It's just a wiser choice because too many times people don't appreciate what you do for them. Maybe Diy is right. Sometimes, it's better to talk to cats.

2008-11-04T20:36:00.002+08:00

And I have given until my heart hollows. But I've given my best. I am too tired to continue. Maybe another time. Need some sleep.

2008-11-01T15:24:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been updating this shit in like ages. So here's the first entry after God knows how long. And I don't think I'll have enough time to actually sit down and recollect my thoughts on everyday accounts. Surprise surprise Lionel has a life!

School has been extremely draining. Sleeping late, waking up early, always trying to put in 110% amount of effort in every work given, always trying to give in 200% attention in class. Seriously, I rarely MSN in school. Maybe like once or twice a week. And I don't even bring my laptop to school anymore because it's distracting. Way to go, way to go! So far, I've gotten things on track.

Heading out now. Chao.

2008-10-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

It's just so tough now. Times are rough and I really don't know how long this is going to last. My future is like so bleak. I'm just going to wait.

9 outta 10.

We'll see who's your boy.

Chao chao.

2008-10-24T14:14:00.002+08:00

In about less than 2 hours time, I will be meeting a man who owns an F&B outlet to discuss on ways to market his store. And seriously, right now, I'm wearing a pair of pants, my Volcom tee with a cardigan. I don't know if I should dress up. I made a mistake of dressing up yesterday instead of today. And seriously, right now, I am so fucking sleepy. I hope I have things to propose to this man. I also hope that his way of marketing is not via web.

Food chain is best marketed through word of mouth. Good food, nice place, everyone will recommend anyone. You don't even need a real strategy. I'm going to pack my things now and maybe change my outfit a little bit.

Goodnight Arizona.

2008-10-23T15:02:00.002+08:00

I know that you're upset with things right now, and this isn't really the right time to talk. I am not sad about it nor am I angry. I don't want things to be harder on you. I understand if you need some time out, to think about things or just be alone. You could've just at least told me not to bother you for the time being. The last I heard from you was 3 hours ago. Even so, we only managed to talk for what seemed like 30 secs. You were supposed to call back 5 minutes after that but up till now, I can't reach you on your cell because you're not picking up. No texts even.

If you're reading this right now, just reach me. I just want to know you're okay and also to let you know that I've missed you. Nothing else can make my day, but you.

):

2008-10-22T21:12:00.002+08:00

It gets harder everyday to put in 100% effort. But for straight A's (and not forgetting my D for programming), I must do this. I must learn to compromise my sleeping hours. If bunny can go without sleep to do schoolwork. I can too.

And I will start, now. Bye.

2008-10-20T09:02:00.002+08:00

One of my lecturers told me that we actually only need 4-5 hours of sleep. So. I'm going to make sure I have 4-5 hours of sleep everyday. And also make sure that (wah cb my tummy fucking fucking fucking pain it makes me want to shit but no shit will come out so don't bother trying I'm just making efforts to distract myself from the pain wow this 'thought bracket' is so long OK PAIN IS BACK! OUCH OUCH OUCH) so anywhere where was I?

Ok things to get!

-Writing pad

-Helipad HAHAHAH OK LAME.

-Multicolored pens

-Eraser

-A box of A4 papers cuz later cannot print notes again.

-Sketchbook + notebook

I am going to promise to ace every subject EXCEPT object-oriented programming. EXCEPT that. It is okay if I score a D. I won't be too hard on myself. Java-programming is nonsense anyway.

Good luck (enter your personal favourite pseudo name)! Have fun with school!

2008-10-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

Putting Dakota on repeat after what happened. Don't know why. Just suddenly had the song in my head. Been looking at my watch now. Love it to death. Thinking about what you said. And after what I said.. I just thought you'd end up saying something to make me feel better. Even though I really did not want to talk. I just can't get what you said out of my head. It's so disturbing and sad and makes me want to just like I don't know.

I have things to do but I'm not doing them. Why. I don't know why. How long more can I procrastinate. I really should stop procrastinating but I am so uninspired it's disgusting and sick. Like I'm some kind of lazy fuck.

Anyway I feel sad and cruddy right now. No. Make that. I feel insulted. I am insulted. And I am very bitter about it. And nothing you'll ever say will make that change. Am I that bad?

I have a picture in my head. And it's disturbing and has been disturbing me and I really never wished to think about it. But I don't know. Mutual doesn't seem to be the right word.

I'm so sickening. I'm so sick that it's making me sick to my stomach. Bye.

drinking back drinking for two

drinking with you

and drinking was new

2008-10-16T01:30:00.001+08:00

OH WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT DREW! I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. Hahahaha!

"Fun right!"

"Teeheee funstuff!!!!!"

"Next time can do again ok boy?"

"UGGGHFNFKLDSJFIEWD OK!"

2008-10-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

Click on the link. Makes me want to vomit breast milk with melamine.

http://profiles.friendster.com/12505682

Wtfffff.

2008-10-15T09:31:00.002+08:00

My new timetable is not out yet. I hope the new schedule isn't that much of a different than the previous one so that I can have time to work and pay for my education. I better get going before I get late. Chao!

Higher than the sun.

2008-10-14T18:34:00.003+08:00

You could've occupied that empty seat, spend some time with me and make my day.

I miss you ):

(And eh pls eh I didnt neatly arrange the stuff so that can nice nice take picture!)

Ok hi. Today I went to the seaside and drenched half my body in seawater. Then I sat down and played with sand while waiting for my shorts to dry. HAHA SHORTS. Not shorts la cb, it's berms! Yeah so anyway.. I sat and thought about nothing. Just enjoying the sun and breeze. Then, like Jasmine suggested, went to Coffee Bean to get coffee and flipped through i-D, listened to sappy love songs they were playing(i.e Chris Brown - With You) and there was a couple sitting behind me who took pictures and I thought the camera flash was LIGHTNING hahahaha!! So every time after they took a picture, I will turn behind to look at the sky! And because they took lots of pictures, I went home early 'cos I thought - "WAH SO MANY LIGHTNING! BETTER GO HOME BEFORE HEAVY RAIN!"

2008-10-14T11:10:00.002+08:00

I finally found my lip balm! (Rejoice! I am so happy! Hahaha)
Now my lips are tingly menthol-ly. If there's even a word.
Benny is my new buddy.
He put me to sleep last night.
Benny has like dumb games.
Benny is bluuuuee.
Now Benny goes wherever I go.
And and and the best part is! Benny can fit in my wallet! Omg!
Now I'm going to my favourite bookstore again just because it's my favourite bookstore.
I went there just yesterday.
And 3 days before.
It's so sunny! I love it!
No school, no work!
Chao romano rano karno!

Higher than the sun.

2008-10-14T10:19:00.003+08:00

My brightest stars my inner light let it guide me

Experience and innocence bleed inside me

Hallucinogens can open me or untie me

I drift in inner space, free of time

I find a higher state of grace, in my mind

I'm beautiful

I wasn't born to follow

I live just for today, don't care about tomorrow

What I've got in my head you can't buy, steal or borrow

I believe in live and let live

I believe you get what you give

I've glimpsed, I have tasted, fantastical places

My soul's an oasis; higher than the sun.

I am higher than the sun.

HAPPY

2008-10-13T22:26:00.002+08:00

Today Nico and I collected her iTouch. Which is wowza orgasma! HAHAHAHA! So I got a little jealous. And bought myself a nano! Like woah super impulsive.

Nico: Aren't you getting yourself anything?

Me: Huh like what? Clothes? Oh maybe I am. If we're going to Zara.

Nico: NO LAH STUPID! FROM HERE!

Me: Oh. I dont know. I thought about it before bed last night.

Nico: And?

Me: I DONT KNOW. What you say?

Nico: Get one! Your PSP is quite useless anyway.

Me: Nat says I should too! Hmm OK LOR I BUY!

That's about all the persuasion I'll ever need when I'm out shopping. And then I found out I have $45 in my ATM and spent it on an issue of i-D just because it has Natasha Poly on the cover and also my new muse, Anja Rubik in a coupla of the pages. Then then then Swensens for ice-cream and the both of us couldn't finish it up cossssssss we have Swensens like all the time. So sick of it alr. Gelare next time okidokii?

Hmm I have 2 Apple stickers and I pasted one on my laptop to cover the stupid Fujitsu logo! But it's too big to cover so can still see a bit. A little disheartening. If not I can feeling feeling own Macbook.

Oh and I should show you my room also. It's sooo nice I love it. I love the white walls so so much. And my bedsheets too. And and the hot girl from some Mango catalogue that I got. And my handmade calendar with colorful post-its and the stuff XY drew for me! Teehee me is one hella happy boy!

Ohhhhhh I also forgot to mention that today, in general, is a very happy day. I woke up to bunny's call HEHEHEHEHEHE! And and and I went t bathe aaaaand then I woke Nico up by pinching her cheeks and practically screaming in her ear - OH MY GOD YOU ARE EXTRA CUTE TODAY!!!! And then she threw pillows and me. I laughed a lot. Cos it's funny. I'm hypomanic. Blahahaha. I don't know I'm still so happy now.

I named my iPod BENNY. Yes, named after my RIP Motorola Razr V3i that I loooovvve. Wish it was still working so I could use it again. This LG Viewty sucks balls. Laoyah shit.

Ok bye I'm going to write a card and go to bed! TEEEHEEEE!

Sleep.

2008-10-13T00:03:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I've been very very very lack of sleep these coupla nights/days. Yes, sentence structure error on purpose. But anyway, last night I slept at 8pm. Now it's 12.05am and I'm up, sorta. But I'm heading back to bed soon 'cos I'm sleepy eepy eepy(says it ala Kerry).

Tmr I'm heading out again. I think I'm going to spend more cash on clothes. And. My calculator watch. TEEEHEEE. But to get my calculator watch, I need to be able to drag Nico to Mustaffa centre. Who thinks she's gonna get raped by some pariah and I won't be able to save her. No worries! No back-lane walking okidokii?

OK I'M SO SLEEPY.Actually no not really but yeah you get my drift. If no, then nvm. CHAO.

Nothing else matters.

2008-10-10T00:05:00.003+08:00

nothing else matters

♥♥

(i know. so gay. with the hearts and all)

2008-10-09T11:00:00.003+08:00

Hide. Do I even goddamn fucking matter. Ten million bad things going through my head. Hide. I don't want to let you know anything. None of you will comprehend this post anyway.

Break the table.

But with what.

I just hate this so damn fucking much. Don't even think about trying. I give up. One is better than a couple. Goodbye motherfucker. Or fuckers. i leave you I leave 5.

2008-10-07T11:24:00.002+08:00

I think I am at the verge of killing myself.

I am suddenly so fucking depressed and aggravated and sad and so empty.

It's like I can never get hold of the damn fucking internet conenction on my laptop when I desperately need to use it. And I don't fucking know how to fucking blend the damn fucking colors for my sketch on Illustrator. The stupid Acer is just too fucking slow and sometimes the keyboard isn't connected properly so I can't fucking hell use it which pisses me off even more. I am so so so damn fucking angry that I flipped the damn fucking swivel chair now one of the wheels is detached and broken. My modem is on the floor I wish it broke and just go to hell. My books are all over the place because I threw them. My hairdryer chipped. Yes I so totally had a damn fucking riot with myself.

Bye I think I'm going to burn myself.

2008-10-05T22:04:00.002+08:00

I think I'm suffering from a bipolar disorder. I think I need to be on medication. Right now, I just hate my face so much I feel like poking knives into my eyes. My hands feel as if more germs are on it than they are supposed to be. I feel as if I'm tearing apart. To a point where I just like hate every damn fucking thing about myself. Like. I feel so cruddy.

And I hate talking to people with awful english.

Woman and women.
Man and men.
To and too.
Than and then.

Just like how stationary and stationery is two different things. I bet some fuckers don't even know. Practise and practice. Some idiot actually told me that the difference in spelling is because one is American-spelling and the other is British. Yah. Some bloody chibai said that.

K bye I'm annoying and annoyed.

Avatar!

2008-10-04T22:34:00.003+08:00

That's bunny and me. Sorry bunny I made you look way different! You actually look Indian. And if you really really look properly right, you look a little bit minah. HAHAHA! Hmm now I think I don't make you look different anyway!

Face Picture

2008-10-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

Things you do when you're bored:
-Go to this website and check out my picture comments or messages.

Just like these,

This is why.

2008-09-30T00:53:00.002+08:00

Whenever I feel depressed. Or unwanted. Or just going through some immature 'no-one-gives-shit-about-me' phase, I will log on to my gay social networking site because these boys make me feel. Better. Fucking gay and disgusting but true. Sian.

2008-09-29T17:33:00.002+08:00

Today's Ethan's birthday. And after what I did to him, I never thought we'd actually be in talking terms. Well we haven't said a word to each other since... That night. Must have been like a month ago.

Zach has some plans and asked me if I wanted to tag along. I don't know if I should. I mean, what if he doesn't want me there. Or what if all his junkie clan is there. And they all know what I did. What if I wasn't wanted. Gahhh it's gonna be so awkward. Coming from a guy who's 21, this is major childish but sorry cannot help it.

My dad said I should go, since we're afterall cousins and he believes that Ethan has probably gotten over it.

-

Also, my dad has been cooking for the past few days. I think he's better at it than Jamie. HAHA. K bye. I'm a bit depressed right now.

2008-09-26T02:42:00.001+08:00

Now you slowly dying right? Hahaha see lah who ask you to play with P-IT-B. Now you die.

Fucking tired and sleepy. And D. HAHAHA.

99

2008-09-21T14:47:00.003+08:00

This is post number 99.

Anyway, I downloaded all 18 episodes of Masashi Osaku's podcasts. Fucking awesome music. House/Trance/Electro. A little bit more on the hardcore side but still great. When my dad and Jamie go to Vietnam in December, I'm going to get Kyle to help me plan a house party. We can play Masashi Osaku sets all night.

Insider: No worries, no cheating is going to happen!

Gotta get back to painting my fucking walls. Sometimes, I wish I hired painters inside of trying to be all DIY-ish. I still have 3.95 walls to go. And my dad gave me a brand new nickname too. I'm now knows as TLK at home. TLK = Timor Leste Kid.

Ninnabuay.

Natasha Byer (:

2008-09-20T00:42:00.004+08:00

The love that I was looking for; the one that I searched high and low, was right here with me all along. I don't know if I didn't realize it or maybe I was just too blinded grasping onto hopes that someone else will come back.

From now until the day that we stop saying love to each other, I promise to always give what you need, to love you whole-heartedly, to go the extra mile for you. I will compromise. Because I love you (Ok and maybe make up for the years I've been a total jerk but that's not really the point).

1, 487 miles will never come between us. We always have the stars to wish upon from where I'm at, and where you are.

-Your favourite primate escapist HAHA!

Shampoo.

2008-09-20T00:42:00.002+08:00

Sorry I couldn't really get down to updating this online journal. I'm busy half the time and the other half is just spent being tired. Or doing some catching up.

Work is draining me, and on top of that, I'm also working on my personal projects (btw right now I'm quite distracted by the smell of my hair). Not that I'm complaining about the workload. It's just draining but but but I've always found being very occupied better than being idle all the time.

Just when my "save money for L.A" scheme is doing well... Saving all the money I get, wake up earlier, be more on time to refrain from taking cabs and even if I was late, I still skipped the idea of cabbing but this week was total haywire. TOTAL HAYWIRE.

On Monday, I spent my first kopek on a DKNY backpack that was going on sale. The original price was $319 but I got it for $128. Firstly, how can I resist such crazy deals like this. Fucking cheap balls! Secondly, the backpack is huge. For once, I don't have to worry about space once my laptop is in. And thirdly, it looks rugged. On Tuesday, I was late so I cabbed to work. $13. On Wednesday, I was even later so I cabbed to work, again. $13. On Thursday, I was not so late but if I took the train I would be and since I've been late for the past 2 days, it wouldn't do me good if I was late again so I cabbed to work. Another $13. Today, I did stuff to my hair. (Ok still very distracted by the smell and also distracted because Sam went MIA on me!) I did highlights, coloured it, and cut a wee bit. That costed me $132. Then I was hours late. Ok 3 hours exact. No make that 4. I was supposed to meet Zach at Bugis at 1.30pm. So I cabbed.. Again. And the fare was below $10 until the turn to Bugis Junction's taxi stand. There was a fucking ERP right before the entrance and it was fucking $3!!! So ended up, I had to fork out $12.50 and because I was late I treated Zach to dinner. Which was nothing special really 'cos we bought chicken kebab at Kampong Glam's Ramadhan bazaar.

So in total, I spent $312. In which, $52 was spent on taxi fares. And this is excluding booze and my meals(but since I barely have proper food anyway so I skip the meals part).

Zach and I walked to City Hall from Bugis as usual. Managed to discuss designs and strategies. Also did some camwhoring with his new Nikon(which somehow reminds me of LC which also reminds me that while getting my hair done, there was a picture of LC on this magazine and she had like gorgeous smile I was tempted to rip her picture off SORRY I'M THAT MUCH OF A FANBOY). Now I have new nicknames - Japan and Korean Kung Fu Pow(KFP). Oh and there's a particular picture of us looking damn gay we laughed at it for a good 2 minutes or something. I'm waiting for him to come online to send me pictures but I'm guessing he's probably out with Nick cycling around Pasir Ris.

I'm waiting for my dad to come home because I want to hear his comments about my new hairdo. He called me 5 times today to ask about my hair(and about Hari Raya cards 'cos he's sending some to his colleagues). But howell howell I guess I gotta wait for tomorrow.

I'm going out soon for some booze with the boys although my eyes are pretty heavy already.

So there, my summary for the week. I'll try update this as frequent as possible! Chao chao Romano!

Oh and my hair still smells so nice.

2008-09-15T03:19:00.001+08:00

Maybe you're right. I wouldn't give a fuck. But you. Should stop being rude.

2008-09-12T12:31:00.002+08:00

Radiohead collection before bed, Radiohead collection right after I wake up. I'll be listening to it until I get damn damn damn sian. Then I will need a reason to get a new CD. Preferably Anthony Green's Avalon. I'm in my, "feel like jumping off a cliff" kinda mood.

MEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KERRY.

2008-09-12T01:20:00.004+08:00

EXPECT

i) local acts performing all in one day
ii) chemical brothers/fatboyslim

all happening at the end of the year! we gon make it happen!

2008-09-08T11:03:00.002+08:00

HARRO!

I've got Magic Numbers stuck in my head!

SHE DONT LOVE ME LIKE YOU
SHE DONT DO WHAT YOU DO
AND ITS SOO HAAAAAAAAARDDD.

Sigh. So anyway, last night I dreamt I lived in the woods! I got kicked out of my house with my wife and 2 kids. My son was named Brighton and I forgot what my daughter's name was. So we all got kicked out of the house right(I don't know why) and being the genius I am(in the dream and real life!), I led the family to this place.

Ok lah it's actually not the woods la. It's just at ECP. You know they have those miny jungle thingy where there lotsa trees with crickets and monkeys and "rare" birds staying. HAHAHAHA. Yah that's actually the "woods".

My son thought we were gonna die in 2 days because the place was horrible. We continued walking and then we saw this.......... Hut. And the hut was pretty clean, and there was even a shower! But no water heater. No beds/mattresses even. It's so funny cos the first thing we did when we got in the hut was to take turns to shower. And after that we were all actually happy!

And I also remember my wife saying this,"Living in the woods isn't so bad afterall" and that was returned with the kids going all,"YAAAAYYYY!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OF COURSE LA STAY IN THE WOODS LIKE THAT NOT SO BAD. EAST COAST PARK GOT MACDONALDS WHAT!

Damn stupid dream. But funny la. Ok Im late for work. Bai!

2008-09-03T16:14:00.001+08:00

I am going to work doubly hard to get Nickski.

Hmm sacrifices sacrfices sacrivice. K bye.

Wishlist.

2008-09-01T20:41:00.003+08:00

Things I would like to splurge on once my pay is in(btw HR delayed our pay):

Premium White Stripe Shirt

Sky Blue Strip Shirt

Plum Fine Stripe Casual Shirt

Grey Summer Oxford Check Shirt

Navy and Red Gingham Shirt

Grey Dogtooth Skinny Blazer

Swerve

Blockage Tank

Twelve Pak S/S Slim Tee

Nat Byer fuck

2008-08-31T02:02:00.002+08:00

I was gunna head out to Thumper an hour ago. All dressed and everything but nahh no mood to party, or go out for drinks even. So I stayed home and ended up watching Ep 1-Season 4 of the Hills 'cos I'm a fanboy like that. Hah whatevs. Better than being accused of being a hoe sleeping with idk 51 girls in one night or something. Exaggeration on my part. What the fuck don't care. Now I'm just gonna head t bed and help out with Daren's booth at Vivo then head to work. I'm sleeeeepy. Night.

Bwehehe.

2008-08-27T21:53:00.003+08:00

Like excuse me chibai he is so fucking cute can!

If I have boyfriend like this, I'd be like, "Eh hello baby stop it eh action Harry Potter!". But actually I like lah. Omg so cute can turn any straight boy gay! I think he very Dior Homme materail! See cannot even spell material anymore. Oh my god so cute!

Ok so he doesn't look that cute in this picture but this picture, on a whole. Is cute! Can you imagine. If you and your gf/bf took a picture like that?! You will surely stare at it for one whole day and not get sick of your faces!!

STILL DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE?!

K.

THEN.

PICTURE. ME AND CARISSA LIKE THAT! So perfect for each other right? Yea I know. I should sooooooooo totally go to Jakarta and look for her. For all you know, she might just be my soulmate HA HA HA HA. Eh ok lah I sleepy. My English in this entry also not proper. Abit annoying. Dah la my hair quite like ah beng. Actually no lah.

But that dude is so cute! I think I want to use his picture as my phone's wallpaper. Oh btw today at work got this cheena looking chibai and her bf ordered small latte. And they were browsing through Pulses magazine, some business boring DAMN DRY magazine.

G is her
B is her bf.

B: Why don't you get this?
G: Do you want the free latte?
B: No I'm fine unless you wanna get the magazine
G: Oh it's okay then 'cos I'd rather be reading Bazaar.

I BARFED. IN FRONT OF HER. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KANINABEH CHAO CHIBAI! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE. DAMN SEMANGAT FASHIONISTA! I BET HER LV BAG ALSO FAKE! AND HER DRESSING. IS LIKE. BUY FROM BEDOK INTERCHANGE AND MATCH IT WITH SOME SHIT FROM........................................ PETALING STREET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn champion ah she.

._.

2008-08-27T21:02:00.002+08:00

I've been cracking my knuckles a whole lot lately. Bad. I'd probably suffer from athritis by the age of 35! But it's so.. Addictive. The sound it makes is.. Nice. HAHA. That's illogical. Anyway, my decision to quit is work is being questioned. Jamie said it doesn't make sense. How can me being tired not make sense! If you say it's not concrete enough then I'd agree. So now, I'm not sure what I should do.

I have this feeling I will regret once I quit. Looking at how Agus behaved just now, I think I will end up the same!! And that's bad! I don't want to be sad when I leave. I think I should just stick to work since Ethan won't be working that much anymore (due to "school". stupid mafucker).

Anyway, today I went t trim my very short hair. Now I look like a Metta school boy. But I just like the back part. Wanted a V but settled for slant instead.

I'm very tired. Had 10 fucking hours of work today! And the weather.. Oh the weather.. Makes me wanna tuck in, play PSP and sleep. That's what I'm going to do in a bit.

Now actually 'cos my eyes are >.< no no more like ._. HAHAHA OMG SO CUTE! LOOKS LIKE A STINGRAY ^^V!

K bye.

2008-08-25T17:33:00.002+08:00

I just had a wonderful idea.

Must buy a drawer set that matches with my bed+bedside table+bookshelf.
Must also get a new desk that matches with all the above.

Because I've figured out the real problem that's taking up the most space in my tiny ass room. We should all move to a HDB apartment. Condoms are just way too small. Half of the living room should be included in my bedroom. I'm a growing schoolboy, I need more space. HAHA.

Anyway, I'm going to start my calculations and do some work then study I have a test tomorrow. Then I can breathe a little. And can go clubbing this weekend. I must say that this is the first time I actually still have cash in my bank when it's 5 days away from my pay.

Amazing.

K la go study la boy.

(Do you notice that I'm happier now?)

Jump.

2008-08-25T14:28:00.002+08:00

I did not do anything in the end because if I placed my bed next the wall my door won't open. Whatever. And the survey for Visual Lit is closed. It carries 10% of my 100%. I am feeling so damn suicidal now for no apparant reason. Seriously. I don't know why. I just feel like jumping off a cliff.

Pretty much sad.

2008-08-25T13:56:00.001+08:00

I'm going to re-arrange the furniture in my room(again) instead of spending time studying. I am sad and my emotions are in a turmoil. And I somehow find housework therapeutic. I went to town alone yesterday and bought a Calvin Klein wristwatch. I also almost bought a vacuum cleaner.

Shagged.

2008-08-23T01:53:00.002+08:00

I'm in this fucking messy situation and I don't know how to handle it.

First of all I'm shagged. So major tired. Did not sleep last night.

Secondly. Question 5 of my test paper, my answers were fucked up because I refuse to go through Chapter 4 thinking it was too easy.

Third.

I'm so confused. Zouk was packed with self-proclaimed fashionistas. Dbl O was blah. Ended up drinking at Clarke Quay. I think I saw Lia and Fie. Drunk. Hah.

I'm really damn tired. Catch up soon.

Plap.

2008-08-22T04:53:00.003+08:00

I'm supposed to 'sprint'. But Hans decided to take a break from mugging for his promos as well. Thus,

Me: I think she's very pretty
Hans: Yeah she is.
Me: And she always looks good in pictures.
Hans: Do you like her?
Me: She alr has a boyfriend!
Hans: But do you like her?
Me: No lah cannot like that anyhow 'kope' people's gf.
Hans: I think her pictures... Will look better without her boyfriend's face.
Me: HAHAHAHA DAMN MEAN BUT FUNNY!
Hans: Don't you think so?
Me: Secretly.
Hans: FUCKER!

Oh Oh Oh Oh....... I think tomorrow when I go to school, I'm going to start hallucinating. Lame la Chris go and do your work now what time already.

Tsk fine.

Lame.

2008-08-22T04:30:00.003+08:00

Next week will be my last at Spinelli. I have a feeling I will _. HAHA SECRET!

Bittersweet.

I never wanted to leave. I've always enjoyed work. Things fuck up but never for long. But this time, I want out before things get out of hand.

I will miss the store definitely.

For now I guess I'm just going to focus more on school (Omg my iTunes playing Tiesto damn sian pls everyday listen to his sets). Yeah. Focus more on school and with the spare time I have, just enjoy life for a little try have good clean fun for awhile. Cannot afford $xxx on Zouk per month.

It's 4.30am now I have to do my last bit of mugging for my test. Haven't had sleep and it's gonna be another long Friday. Plus work tomorrow. My last weekend.

(I'm going to miss Spinelli rar.)

I just finished Visualisation project. My tomboy looks like Jesus. No offense!

My major exams are in November and then it's holidays! NYC NYC NYC NYC NYC!

Kerry should die.

2008-08-21T02:04:00.001+08:00

From today onwards,

iwngafak.

Chibai. You always pretended like you cared anyway. Pretended. Motherfucker. Don't know why I bother so much.

Happy dayz

2008-08-20T14:07:00.002+08:00

I'm on msn with my dad! Hahahaha so funny. He called me today to ask for his password because he forgot. -___-"

Ok bye I have work later. Should stuff myself with food now before I die.

Lulz lulz me is happy lulz lulz!

Oh and my new favourite uhh expression thingy(cos its not really an emoticon) is ...

...

You ready to see?

It's.....

^^V

HAHA SO CUTE! THE EYES IS LIKE ^^!! And of course my favourite MSN emoticon will be elmo! My pop-up head shockerz face cb Elmo that I 'kope' from Diy. I think it's damn funny. Also damn fun to spammerz!

Chris + Happy = Ah lian language entry. (I typed antry just now !! HEHEHEHE)

Today I bought Cadbury Boost in school and Rachael hugged me and said I smelled like chocolate + bananas. Weird. But nvm she thinks I'm hot and tells me that everyday.

During lecture just now I threw my thumbdrive to Aty and it hit her head then I laughed. Initially I said sorry but then I told her she deserved it for making me compile the exercises before I RUSH to school. Rushed leh! Bwahahaha bwehhehehe.

Can you tell I'm very happy?

Aty also told me that my new shoes were nice! Ego trip ego trip ego trip! Hmm what else...

K I need to pee. Ok bye ok bye bai bai chi bai HAHAHAHEHEHEBWEHHHEHEHE.

Crazy.

The two girls.

2008-08-20T01:50:00.001+08:00

Can I please have them?

Dad

2008-08-19T14:10:00.002+08:00

Today my dad called me so many times.

1st call,

Dad: I call you twice today didn't pick up
Me: Oh I just woke up la sorry
Dad: Wah 11 o'clock alr ar boy just wake up?
Me: Good life what.
Dad: Please save me, I'm dying in the office
Me: You called me twice t tell me that?
Dad: Sort of. Ok bye.

2nd call,

Dad: Whats your email add?
Me: For what? You want to add me on msn?
Dad: No. I want to send e-mail. Must open k.
Me: Orh ok

3rd call,

Dad: I won't be coming home for lunch
Me: Uhm ok
Dad: I'm so sleepy, please save me
Me: Stop calling la! Do your work
Dad: Shuddup you
Me: Huh whatever ok bye

4th call,

Dad: I'm so sleepy
Me: Just come home and do your work tomorrow
Dad: I've a meeting today, and submission.
Me: Okaaay you keep calling you want me do what!
Dad: Get lost
Me: Oh I'm going Ikea later to eat meatballs
Dad: That's the best
Me: I think so ar.
Dad: Call Ryan go for lunch with him
Me: Oh yea I forgot
Dad I think I know what you're doing now
Me: Online
Dad: What else..

DAMN BO LIAO PLEASE!

Gah

2008-08-19T11:49:00.002+08:00

There's somekind of competition going on during VisLit class.

And it's the only subject that I've taken seriously so far. It's the only subject that I want to be at the top. And I feel this amount of pressure accumulating everytime someone else comes up with something good. Something better than me. It makes such an impact. That I would scrap what I've completed and start something new. Just to be better than that person. You don't know how it feels, do you?

"This is so good, after I grade I will keep it for myself"

I almost tore my paper.

(There's a scene in my head that's showing me going crazy in class. Like really going crazy in class. )

So anyway. Ok sorry. Side track a little. You know how I always tend to have brackets. Well those are like my inner deeper thoughts. It's like. I talk to myself. All the time. Even when I'm typing this chunk of shit.

Where was I? Ok. Almost tore my paper. I'm so disappointed at myself. I'm so disappointed and stressed and pressured it's accumulating. And I have a test on Friday. I didn't even know I had it. But I don't give that much shit about my other subjects 'cos they're all like computer based photoshopping things and I hate photoshop. Never liked it.

WHHHHY B?! WHY ONLY A B. I WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT A DISTINCTION SO BAD ))):

(Dammit I'm always grouchy actually no I'm not my mind is just a mess you see IjlfkhaerifhEWJ k bye Im tired)

Creep.

2008-08-19T00:10:00.002+08:00

I try in every way
to show her everyday
she's my only one

Today I ate too much my tummy almost exploded. I have a tummy ):

I'm so fat. I need to be more like Adam Brody.

-a plate of rice
-and another one
-salmon & chicken sordough sandwhich
-ice cream
-boost

I probably gained 5 kilos today.

Anyway quick updates 'cos I'm grouchy.

Saturday: Work
Sunday: With baby Michael all day. Carried him when he cried, slept next to him and occassionally wake up cos his hands were slapping my face, tried to teach him how to crawl. He's only 2 months + by the way so obviously cannot but I don't care, talked to him, watch him bathe and when he had to change his diapers. Told him it stinks when he farts.

JUST DID THOSE DAMN TYPICAL STUFF PPL ALWAYS DO WITH BABIES. Im damn grouchy cos Im tired and sleepy. K going to look up for some arty farty nonsense then go to bed. Nightingale!

5 minutes.

2008-08-15T10:58:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to find Wellaform. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hairspray. Jamie got me like this tall bottle of hair spray from L'oreal but I hate it 'cos it makes my hair so rigid. ALTHOUGH I hate even more when the wind blows and my hair is messy. But at least it's a nice feeling when wind breezes through the strands rather than your hair not moving at all even though the wind is so strong there's gonna be a thunderstorm in 5 secs or something.

Ok I'm bullshitting. Must do anatomical studies/visualisation now now now now!!!!!!!

Ramblings.

2008-08-15T10:18:00.002+08:00

I'm finally getting my ass to updating this space. It's likely left to die in time to come with all the workload that I have.. Been pretty busy with submissions this week. Lack of sleep, lack of time, taking in more food(this is a bad sign!must stop before I go fat!). Lucky me got a week extension for my visualisation project. I'm also having thought of re-doing my anatomical studies for 101 Graphics. I'm going to start on them today. Soon actually.. And I should be able to finish Visualisation by the end of the night. I should. But we'll see how it goes. If I can really accomplish(hahaha where the hell did that word come from!) this then I should treat myself to Zouk.

Moving on to whining, the remote control to the air conditioner in the house is gone case. And my dad just refuses to get it repaired so we all have to resort to stepping on something to switch it on the air con itself. But God knows what I've done to get such bad karma, the air con in my room doesn't even let out cool air! It stinks up my room even! A few nights before this happened, it kept throwing ice at me. So I will occassionally get up because my stupid air con is throwing ice at my head!

Now, I have to succumb to using the fan. And that's not helping either.

OHH! This month, I haven't spent a single cent on clothes. YAY ME! I've also managed to resist buying shirts from Paul Smith. They were on sale. But I didn't get any although there was this really really orgasmic one that I could so use for presentations and shit. I did not buy that other top at Ralph Lauren although the price was slashed. Like 50% so it's uhm $109. Humm what else did I see and not buy? DKNY ):

I miss going over to Palais Renaissance and just getting anything I wanted. I'm even actually thinking of getting a pair of Converse shoes. Uggh (sorry no offence to people who shop at converse I just think it's a damn damn cheena store).. I guess for now, Zara and all that Massimo Dutti, Lacoste goodness will suffice.

Almost 11am now gotta chao and do my work!

Junkies

2008-08-12T09:37:00.002+08:00

Damn it. I feel like shitting.

-

After school yesterday I went over to Dover to meet ~~ok wait I think I do my hair first before it dries.~~old friends. I guess bad habits die hard. Old habits die hard.

Things that've been going on in their lives.. If it wasn't for my drifting apart, I would end up just like them. All these shit that they're getting themselves into. Well it's what you get when you put one person who doesn't think with someone just as brainless, and then pull in a few other friends who live with this principle that "anything goes".

These are the people I grew up with. These are the people I shared my happy times with, my "feel alone" days with, my sorrows with. These are the people I counted on when I needed help. Even if they've failed me before, betrayed me before, I always found it in me to forgive and forget. These are the people I've grown so attached to that they become like family.

But yesterday was a whole different story. Within conversing I find myself asking,"Do I really know these people?".

They're meeting up again today and it really isn't fun when you're there watching them taking in pills, smoking, stoning. And it really isn't fun when you look into their eyes and all you see is a patch of white. It breaks you. It breaks me.

One of them is blood.

lazy

2008-08-10T18:55:00.003+08:00

Overall, a good weekend.

So finally submission is over but I'm not too happy with my web because

1. I screwed my file management thingy
2. So I had to alter my CSS/HTML codes page by page
3. I only found out there's got to be 10 pages at least, I only had 8.
4. So that's going to cost some marks
5. I didn't think I saved my background image
6. AND THAT JUST MEANS, MY BACKGROUND WAS THE DEFAULT BACKGROUND
7. WHICH ALSO MEANS
8. THERE ARE 2 GREY RECTANGLES AT THE SIDE.

I'm so bummed. But I was too bummed with coming to work late to even care about proper submission.

Next time, don't work on submission day. Oh heck I don't have the heart to work anyway.

Which reminds me.

Must must apply at Zouk.

(Harhar)

Saturday

Roadtrip to Yishun. I was gonna meet(I just spelled it as meat) Sham for our last-minute JB trip. So I took the train all the way to Yishun at 10am. And I've never trained to Yishun so it was quite an experience for me sitting in the train going all like,"Wow never knew Ang Mo Kio had a hub!" or like,"Wow Bishan's MRT Station looks like those subway stations in my Tony Hawk game". Fucking stupid. I feel like a tourist(I almost typed terrorist). Sorry, I'm simultaneously making notes and talking to myself.

So when I finally got to Yishun, I waited for Sham to pick me up(who was actually sleeping in his car at some car park, weirdo). And then at Causeway, his air-con decided to be a bitch. So there we were stuck in a traffic jam under the scorching sun in his sweltering hot car.

I hate going through immigration customs. They asked me if I was Chris Leong. HELLO BIZIATCH. I HANDED YOU MY PASSPORT. EVEN IF I WASNT CHRIS LEONG, I WOULDVE SAID I WAS. Wtf. And that Khalid Eunos dude was damn slow. I think he was orgasming to our passport photos or something. Malaysian customs checked our faces, which was a first. Then finally got through and straightaway hunted for good old school Nasi Padang place.

Slept. Woke up. Had Baskin Robbins(favourite ^^v). Ventured to Senibong for dinner.

And this part about venturing was.. I cannot decide between funny and scary. So I drove his car because I was the smart-ass who wanted to eat all the way to this ulu kampong shit place for seafood. We got there. Safe. But I was trying to park right and then the front-left wheel went up this curb and the car got stuck. Cos I couldnt even manouever it anywhere. For like 5 mins.

I'm such a lousy driver. Kerry was right. HAHA. Ok no.

Sunday

Woke up really early for breakfast. At 8.10am and saw 2 hot Lebanese girls. HAHAH. Not that we have a thing for Lebanese girls. But yeah. They were hot.

OK WHATEVER I DAMN LAZY TO TYPE THIS IS ALR DAMN LENGTH NYA NYA NYA RANT RANT FDLIJSNFIREUF.

SHORT ATTENTI OH YOU KNOW MY PHONE REFUSES TO READ MY SIM CARD. chao chibai. so now i switched phones with nic. ok but yea. i got stuck in like one of the worst traffic jams ever on the way home.

now im home. and i have school at 1pm tmr. and i. am really lazy to attend school tmr. i could skip. but i have a presentation. present my stupid web. with 2 grey rectangular blocks.

--

and i did not see Jo at work cos she was over at CSC
and Zach's haircut makes him look so Pete Doherty-ish
and I found out that Hans is gay cos he went to grind with Agus at Zouk the other day and GRABBED his balls.
ewh.
and where is Marr ):
okbye.

"If you love me, why'd you let me go?"

2008-08-07T09:36:00.003+08:00

Earlier this morning when I finally picked up my phone,

You Hello babiez plspls wake up!
Me Uh ya I'm awake I'm awake..
You Okay. Must wake up ok or else I not your friend!
Me Confirm won't happen
You Ok bye.. Eh wait you must not go back to sleep
Me I won't I won't
You If you don't wake up you will be much much fatter than me
Me HAHA K I'M UP!

Later after that,

Me Harro babiez
You Yes?
Me I don't know what to wear ):

So I spent 45 mins on the phone, staring in front of my wardrobe, figuring out what to wear.. Bo liao. I think tonight I'm going to stay in school to complete my Web so that I can actually sleep til quite late tomorrow (so that I won't be so shagged at work). I'm going to fail my mock test because of the word 'mock'. Too tired to study.

Marr.

2008-08-07T01:46:00.002+08:00

Good morning babiez! I am up again doing schoolwork. I can't wait until this week is over. I can't wait to breathe easy.

Visualisation project submission is being extended til next week! Awesome! That just means I will have more time to focus on that once I'm done with Web. Tomorrow is my Web submission. I'm going to drag myself to school tomorrow morning to do my final touch-ups then I have to rush off to work at 3pm. So hectic.

Anyway, I had my lab test today and I am so screwed. So so screwed. I cannot even do 1 question. And there were only 4. I can't even compute simple uh, codes? So during my 1.5hours test, I sat in front of my lab computer and calculated my marks. I can manage a zero for this.

(Stop being so complacent)

Ok I have to get going. It's almost 2 in the am and I have 2 hours left before my bedtime. I have to get my Web layout completely done by tonight 'cos everybody already had theirs done on Monday.

--

Before I forget.

"Beauty emanates from every word that you say and capture the deepest thoughts in the purest and the simplest of ways. But you see, I'm not that graceful like you, nor am I as eloquent.. But just a simple melody can change the way you see me. Right now, I have you. For a moment, I can tell I've got you 'cos your lips don't move and something is happening"

Love you.

Nat Byer is a loser.

2008-08-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

Because I'm always the jerk. Always. The one you put the blame on when you started using profanities. The one you put the blame on a relationship that didn't work out. The one you put the blame on when you weren't speaking proper.

"this is not DRAMA. this is me telling you i am done. i have enough of you. get it. should have done this the day you broke up with me. but no i was an idiot."

I get it. And fyi, I don't give shit about people like you. Don't even think about reconciling. I can't believe you still bring up stuff that's been over for like 2 years? Get over it 'cos I have.

I am being a jerk now but I don't give a fuck. You got what you wanted.

Pecs

2008-08-04T16:23:00.002+08:00

Gerald and I went for sundae after school and he brought up gymming which then lead to glorious army days. When we were in army, we were so proud of how toned our biceps were, how defined our abs, how we actually look good in tight-fitted tees.

Halfway through, we felt damn fat.

And thanks to him, I'm now planning out my regime. I'll start with swimming later. Need to watch what I eat as well.

GOODBYE TUMMY AND HELLO ABS!

I also need to organise my time.

I will do so now.

Remember in army they always used this motto on us: "If not you then who. If not now then when."

Dammit sial.

2008-07-31T10:25:00.002+08:00

Fucking hell this Harris is making go to school earlier because he wants to photocopy my tutorial answers. CHAO CHIBAI. WHO'S THE ONE WHO TOLD ME I SHOULD START STUDYING COS I KNOW SHIT ABOUT SCHOOL.

WA ZA ZA ZA!

2008-07-31T08:46:00.002+08:00

I'm so sick of doing my hair. It is now longer and harder to play around with. It used to take 5 seconds to have nice hair but now I take 5 minutes and it gets pretty tiring. I don't know why I'm updating about this anyway.

Today I am

I just burned my toast. This is the 7th time it has happened for the past 3 weeks. Anyway, I'm going to party on Saturday! See you folks at Zouk!!!

Diyanah had them apple bottom jeans
boots with the furrr
(the fuur)
the whole club lookin at herrr

She hit the floor
next thing you know
Diyanah got low low low low low low

HARRO (BIKE!) CF I MISSING YOU X HUNDRED THOUSAND ):

Special shoutout siul! (insert shockerz face)

2008-07-31T00:04:00.001+08:00

WAH FUCK. 287 ONLY. OK HANS I AM NOT GOING TO FORK OUT 300 FOR SINGFEST JUST BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO GET MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT WHICH IS NOW SOLD OUT ALR. Wah I expected a 300 at least. Bo liao.

BOO

2008-07-30T23:53:00.002+08:00

I just accidentally sort of rammed my head against the wall while trying to dive on my bed and boy did that feel good. For real. It felt good cos my head is in a mess and I just needed something to like. I dont know. I guess I just need something to make me feel dizzy izzy for awhile. I'm so weird. But anyway, I had a belated mini birthday celebration in school today and it was fun. And schoolwork is just piling up and I'm really tired. I hate animation nonsense. It's so tedious and time consuming. Can you imagine. What took half an hour to do equals to 30 seconds of play-time. I hate shit like that. And oh fuck I'm just reminded. I have to complete my visualisation project which is due tomorrow.

Welcome sleepless nights.

And also there's a possiblity that I have to fork out 300 for Singfest thanks to Hans! Idiot. AND MY PAY IS COMING IN 1 MINUTE! OH ITS ALR 12! HELLO MONEY. LET'S CHECK HOW MUCH I'VE EARN THIS MONTH. OH EXCITEMENT!

Wah fuck not in yet! I still see 4.22 in my account. Bullshit. It's supposed to be in already dammit!!!

Nevermind. I guess I'll just indulge myself in sorrow(figuring out flashz) while Erin gets her boyfriend to do her schoolwork for her in return for sex. Unfair. I hope she. K nvm.

Conversations!

2008-07-30T12:45:00.002+08:00

Hi I'm in class now but....

Aty ): says:
so neninenipupu larhh
Aty ): says:
what for i call when he rejected my call?
Aty ): says:
what for i msg when he dont bother to reply.
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
you just call/msg today
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
if he never ans at all
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
then dont bother

CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
you can see or not
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
if not i just send you the codez
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
codezzzzz z z z z z z zzzzzzzz z z z z z
Aty ): says:
HAHAHA
Aty ): says:
yeah sEND MEEEEEEEEEEE

--

-STOP DRAWING TO ME LA says:
dun hide behind com look at porn laaaa
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
HAHAHA HOW YOU KNOW. SHIT

CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
i draw for you
-STOP DRAWING TO ME LA says:
draw wad?

-STOP DRAWING TO ME LA says:
ur pussy cat nt hot one=_=
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
HAHAHA NO BOOBS!
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
thats why
-STOP DRAWING TO ME LA says:
LOLs.....NO!
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
thennnn.....

CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
wah
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
you crying
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
leong
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
eh
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
leon
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
sorry lehhhh
-blank says:
?
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
you cry so much until got like pond?
-blank says:
lol...u damn dumb la...lols......go copy the code la..

CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
YAH I FINISH ALR. NOT LIKE YOU. WATCH PORN IN CLASS
System.out.print("You suck" + sucknessLvl); says:
=_______________=;........
System.out.print("You suck" + sucknessLvl); says:
System.out.print("You suck" + sucknessLvl);
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
System.out.print("Leon stop watching porn la!");
System.out.print("You suck" + sucknessLvl); says:
lol...nonsense....shooooo!!!

--

[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you! (:
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
LOL
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
HAHAHAH AWWWWWW SO SWEET NEHHHS
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
LOL
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
i'm not done
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
eh you dont bluff LOL. youre not even laughing
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
OH NOT DONE YET? k continue
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
But the roses have withered,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty
And sop is your head. (:
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
OIIIIIII

CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
I THOUGHT YOU MY FRIEND
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
tsktsktsk...
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
you are
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
that's y must tell the truth!
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
LOL ^^
[c=30]Rachel Linn Vera Braberry <3[/c=29] I neither love nor hate you. says:
nah, kidding
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
you better be or else... i smash your camera so that you cannot take my pictures anymore

--

[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
have lar
[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
every night i style
[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
shag 1 lor
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
hahaha style hair also can shag mehhh
[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
lazy lar

[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
wait til my hair longer
[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
or else i'll jsut keep to shorter hair
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
CHANGE HAIRSTYLE.
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
nvm i think you keep longer first
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
until i find hairstyle for you
CHRISTROOPER! sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole says:
hahaha
[c=4][c=45]Gerald Yeong[/c] you're the special 1[/c] says:
sial !

Monday

2008-07-29T03:20:00.002+08:00

So I caught the Brazil-Singapore friendly match just now. Ok technically, it's yesterday 'cos my clock reads 3:21am and I should really be asleep instead of updating. But anyway, Harris and I spent a total of 4 hours at Kallang today because we thought it was going to be jam packed with people. Oh what the hell. We were wrong. Or at least it wasn't jam packed at our side. I don't think I have much to comment on the game but Ronaldinho is skillded x 4 million can! You imagine 4 attacking, just inches away and he can still manage to 'samba' out and score! After the match, we walked to Kallang MRT station. It's quite far but since Harris had no money and refused to let me ride 14 home because he wants to return his debts by that night so we had no choice but to walk. In the end. No POSB ATM at Kallang's station. Motherfucker.

Earlier on in class, Gerald kept talking to me about Paul Van Dyk night on Sunday. Oh how I regret so much not going.

I realised. Throughout the whole 4 hour wait at Kallang, Harris and I only talked about hair and girls. Which brings me to this conclusion that girls who are pushy equals to huge turn off. That's it! I'm done.. Gonna play my PSP till 4am and head to bed. I can afford to sleep late 'cos school's at 2pm tmr and I only have one lecture and one tutorial with a break in between but I have so much to complete in the next 3 weeks so I better stop wasting time. Au revoir.

Boring weekends

2008-07-27T17:46:00.003+08:00

Hi. I just found out that Ryl is married. YAH OMGZ I KNOW ANDREW OMGZ. She's only like 19? And she had like the grandest wedding ever(based on pictures I saw) and she looked hot(as usual). Geez. Married sial.

Ok I'm going to continue biting my own flesh because I'm so so so so x hundred million thousand bored. Cannot wait for school and all the excitement nonsense "shizz shazz" it brings. Better than my weekends.

DCFC

2008-07-27T03:42:00.003+08:00

If I could open my arms

And span the length of the isle of Manhattan

I'd bring it to where you are

Making a lake of the East River and Hudson

If I could open my mouth

Wide enough for a marching band to march out

They would make your name sing

And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings

I wish we could open our eyes

To see in all directions at the same time

Oh what a beautiful view

If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you said

That I live like a hermit in my own head

But when the sun shines again

I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Remember when I cried and told you I lost the love of my dreams, and you told me you weren't good with words but you tried to comfort me anyhow, and you said,

"It hurts and it will tear you apart. But it won't be for long because afterall she is just a pretty face. Be strong now"

What seemed a pile of shit then makes sense now. Regardless of what Ashley did to me, I will still find it in my heart to forgive her.

Now I see someone different when I look into your eyes. You are sad, tired and pretty empty. Nicotine, weed and alcohol. I notice all the changes in you, Ash.

Take care.

HANOR!

2008-07-24T19:58:00.002+08:00

School was pretty much arty farty shitness hah. Visual Literacy was supposed to be 3 hours but we were let off an hour earlier. A number of us stayed on. I waited for Gerald to finish consulting hah so I played with Jian Hui's PSP. He's got this kickass Japanese drum game that I'm quite addicted to. It's so cute. It's like DJ Max. Just less complicated. KP is going to send me the game tonight so that on Monday we can have like a tournament or something! Harris and I battled during the last hour of school and I lost. So I had to treat him to Macs cos Gerald and I alr planned for hot fudge sundae after school so Harris just tagged along.

I don't have school tomorrow but I have freaking work. Oh how I dread going to work now. And I'm hungry. I don't know what's with me these few days. I'm hungry like ALL THE DAMN TIME. I even had like 4 toasts this morning. I also just ate like 10 mins ago but now I think I can have a plate of rice cos my stomach is grumbling.

I think I'm going to bed now. I'm so fucking tired. And when I wake up it's off to Simpang for supper and then do some web designing shhhiat.

Ooh la!

Maybe They Will Find Me

2008-07-24T08:32:00.002+08:00

I will now drown myself in sorrow. And to perfect it I'm going to put Dashboard on repeat.

I guess I got what I wished for. I wanted yesterday to be simple. And so it was. I wasn't really disheartened at how it turned out. I wasn't all that happy either.

But the day ended off in a bad note and thus, it's the worst I've ever had. My dad and I are on war, again. He wasn't even home last night. And he won't be for the next 3 days. I don't know how long this is going to last.

I've also decided to quit Spinelli. Hopefully tomorrow is going to be my last day.

My left feet is swelling and I accidentally cracked a knuckle on my toe and now it's aching real bad.

):

Sometimes when I think about all this, I think I'd just be better off in army.

):

It's all too late now. I have to go for school now.

Oh and Nat please don't leave messages on my voicemail.

MOW.

2008-07-23T16:17:00.002+08:00

This morning's rain, seriously MOW man. Sigh, Erin ah Erinnnn!

-

Today's like. Woke up quite early. Cold cold morning. Undecided about clothes, again. Took longer than usual to do my hair. I feel like cutting it, again. It's growing so darn fast and I hate how it's not as nice as it used to be though my classmates do tell me my hairstyle is so Agyness-like. HAHAHAHA. Gah but Agyness owns.

I sat next to Aty again during lectures and most of the time she was laughing at me. She keeps saying I have a "funny face". Whatever that means. It's like, we'd walk to the next class and I'd just randomly look at her and she'd go crazy I tell you.

I bought disgusting chocolate bar today. It's called BOOST. But it's sooo Mars bar cannot make it. Yuck. Hmmm I feel like shitting now. I think I'll go.

Chao! Nothing to update also. I'm going to quit Spinelli. Sigh, should I? Maybe I should wait a little longer. See how things go.

2008-07-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

45 mins to my birthday and here I am drowning myself in schoolwork. But it's okay. I'm going to get myself a 45 minute nap then maybe stay up all night to talk to you.

I just want a good one this time.

TASHEE (:

2008-07-21T19:34:00.002+08:00

I was like an hour early for school! I thought classes start at 9 when it actually starts at 10. I could say we didn't do anything for school today cept socialize. Jian Hui and I kept laughing whenever Aty said come. Val made cookies. Val and Aty kept laughing at me. Or my face. Whichever. They keep telling me I have a funny face and I don't get what's so funny! During lecture I sat between Rachel and Aty. It was hell. They both folded straw hearts for me. Rachel was being all poetic shiat. Aty pinched my cheeks and poked me everywhere cos I was falling asleep. She whacked me too cos I made her laugh quite a lot.

I'm happy happy. Spent the whole day texting. Smiled at my phone like a real quote doofus unquote.

Oh. I was all neat today and halfway through school the back of my shirt was out, my pants were halfway down my ass. And my hair looked quite like shit at the end of the day. OH WELL. I'm going to eat my cookie now!

kerry.

2008-07-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

1)do you have a wide group of friends ?no.

2)if you're in trouble , will your friends 'fly' to help you ?wont la. where got such ppl like that.

3)will you sacrifice your most precious thing for your friends?no.

4)do you believe in BFF ?eeyer.

5)do you think a straight and a woman can just be platonic friends ?yes

6)do you have a male friend whom you can trust with almost everything ?kyle!

7)do you think friends should tell each other everything?if you and your friend are like grace and i 5 years back.

8)if your friends are in trouble , what will you do ?depends on what kind of trouble.

9)in future , if your friends get married and ask you to be their best man , will you agree?YAAAAAAA.

10)what if your enemy calls you one day to make peace?like ethan? maybe. like ashley? maybe not. AIYAH I DUNNO.

11)what will you do to a friend whom you trust deeply, betrayed you?i will not do anything to him/her.

12)if your friend snatches your boyfriend away , will you hate him or her completely ?WAH LAO EH. WHY QN LIKE THIS. i will hate the person completely for awhile.

13)wht if there is a girl that has liked your friend for quite some time, tells you that she needs your help to win the heart of your friend, will you help her?depends.

14)do your parents think your friends are a bad influence ?my dad thinks i shouldnt hang out with kyle so often or ill turn into a junkie.

15)wht will you tell your parents if they asked you to transfer school, which means losing all your closest friends?"that sounds cool dad"

16)if your friend organizes a once in a life time party, but your family doesn’t allow you to go , will you sulk/throw a temper/sneak out/don’t go? sneak out.

17)how will you describe your friendship relationship with your friends?like now. its so. fucked up.

18)define friendship .grace and i 5 years back.

19)name 20 people whom you can think right now .
don’t read the questions until you named the 20 people . at the end , choose 5 people to do this .

1. kerryhoe
2. jasmine
3. natasha byer
4. nora ann byer
5. diyanah lubis
6. kyle
7. andrew
8. ethan
9. ashley
10. rohit
11. lin
12. tashee
13. sanchia
14. maria
15. natalie
16. calvin
17. jon chia
18. adlynn
19. liyana
20. ange

where did you meet no. 14?
JUST NOW AT WORK! Hehehehehehehe she's so cute!

what will you do if you never meet no. 1?
HAHA. Omg. I dont know.

what if no. 9 & no. 20 dated?ashley and ange?
oh disaster.

will no. 6 & no. 17 date?
kyle and jon chia?! jon is miinne haha

describe no. 3.
nat speaks with an accent. and i cannot understand her 85% of the time.

describe no. 7.
my twin.

do you know any of no.12’s family?
uh no. but i know her dad is a lecturer in my school

what will you do if no.18 confess to you that she likes you?
I WILL DATE HER.

what language does no.15 speak ?
english. with an accent. man she's hot.

how old is no.16?
20.

when is the last time you spoke to no.13?
i think. on tuesday morning.

who is no.2 favorite band or singer?
oh i dont know this one. i know she likes david cook.

would you ever date no. 4?
no. cos i dated her younger sister before. heheh.

would you ever date no. 1?
hmmmmmmmm........

is no. 19 single?
nawpe.

would you ever be in a relationship with no.11?
HAHA NO!

school of no. 3?
FIDM. lucky beach.

where does no. 6 live?
i think bukit panjang. or river valley.

what is your favourite thing about no.5?
how she is always there for me. like ALWAYS. diy lub fo evaa!

have you seen no. 2 naked?
hahahahaha no la!

wht is no.8's nickname ?
eth.

--

OK KERRY IM DONE.

2008-07-18T03:44:00.002+08:00

"You look like you just woke up"
"Thats because I've been on my bed rolling around"
"New hairdo again. It's cute"
"So you're trying to say I'm ugly?"
"...But adorable"
"Whatever"
"I want to slap your stupid face"
"I want to sleep"
"Goodnight"
"Chris!"

It's 3.49 in the morning, Hanny go to sleep! I've had it with entertaining your nonsense laaaaaaaaa.

Better.

2008-07-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

Trooper is back!

I got my hair snipped again and this time, it wasn't even long but I just. Looked at too much Agyness, it hurts to see she has nicer hair than me. So I got my hair cut like hers. We have similar hairstyles but hers still owns. Sigh. Such is life. You don't always get what you want.

K crap.

I didn't have work today and no work for the next two days as well. Which is just awesome. I'm going to work on my folio tonight. Loading my TCP work now. Speaking of which, you guys should go check out the moon now.

I'm heading off to do some organisation and planning. Have a good one mates.

2008-07-14T23:26:00.002+08:00

So much has happened. I cannot keep up. Now its like 64 mixed feelings rolled into one complexed emotion. It's undescribable.

And no one will ever give two shits about it. Ever. It's like you talk to me when you need someone to rant to. To vent out your anger on, to complain, to whine. But when it comes to me. You just disregard it, completely.

Whatever fuck.

Fuck

2008-07-14T00:01:00.003+08:00

I have cried. Since one and a half hours ago. I'm being torn asunder. I feel like a part of me has died. No. I am so numb I feel I have died.

I've been under a great emotional turmoil lately. And I've been patient. Dealing with this whole situation rationally. But today. I just had to breakdown. It's taking a toll.

-

Twisted stories with lotsa characters. I don't know who to trust. Stop putting up a facade at the pretext of quote don't want to hurt me, will give up this love for me unquote bullshit.

-

Goodnight. I'm drained.

Bills

2008-07-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

This was how I spent my money today,

Cab from home to work - $19.80
Calvin Klein - $158
Swensens - $47.50
Cab from town to Siglap and back to home - $33.60

Total amount spent - $258.90

---

Things I need to do:

-Stop cabbing, completely
-Pay my 2 month worth of phone bills
-Learn to keep recycling clothes instead of constantly buying new ones
-Change my particulars on UOBGroup
-Pay my bills online
-Pay my bills online before my cash depletes completely
-Pay my bills online NOW
-Eh chibai, now lah!

LSD.

2008-07-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

The whole day, I was stoned. I still am actually. Half on earth, half on planet Naboo. Awake but yet asleep. Just walking around being oblivious to my surroundings and minding my own business. Closing my eyes whilst walking. People watch while eating. Being alone. Which is pretty cool. The weather's just perfect. I planned to sleep at Sentosa. Sand in pants.

I just thought about it throughout the day. How I'd lie down and watch the clouds move, let my mind wander as the skies changes its shade. I just want to do nothing but lie down. And when it rains, I'd close my eyes and feel drops of water on me.

I'm so worn out by all these hustle and bustle. All these busy traffic. Honking and cursing and swearing. All this work.

--

Alternative: Turn into a junkie.

When red lights on streets become dinosaurs chasing after funny looking monsters.

I see you and you see me.

2008-07-10T08:41:00.003+08:00

Oh my fucking god. It's been a hectic week. And today is the last leg. Final hurdle. For now, at least. Bahh at least I'd have some time to go out for drinks on Saturday for a cheapskate escapade since I can't afford Bali right now.

I'm so fucking shagged.

Tomorrow's gon be like:

Work, 8am-3pm.
Proposal submission, 4pm-5pm.
Some concert band event I was invited to attend, ?

I don't even know the fucking time. Gosh.

Kyle is like probably in Bangkok now so that means my schedule next week is gonbe pretty tight. Bleahfuck.

Deyn!

2008-07-08T19:48:00.002+08:00

All these boys with big talks. On having longer dicks, and being better at sex, on getting girls to blow, to earning 5K a month with a Maseratti.

That's all that makes you happy?

--

Anyway, remember how I used to quote worship unquote Bruna Tenorio and have a whole folder of her in my notebook? Well now, I have a whole folder dedicated to Agyness Deyn. I know, it's pretty out-of-season but ho my she is fucking androgynous and hot. And she turns me on. A friend sent me a semi-nude picture of her and I just feel like. Touching her everywhere. Even her almost non-existant breasts. She's so flat she could pass of as a boy. But she's like hot kinda flat. Ugh. Gosh.

Agyness Deyn, I'd do the stars with you anytime.

2008-07-07T18:06:00.002+08:00

The medication is not working. For the past hour, I threw up thrice. And I've also lost 2 kilos.

Can you imagine. If this continues. I'd probably lose another 3 kilos.

That's 5 in a day.

Are you jealous Kerry?

Bwahahaha bye I'm going off to Raffles City to meet Zachary.

Last Train Home on MTV.

2008-07-07T11:54:00.002+08:00

She wants to meet up Thursday morning. Claims it's urgent.

I don't get why she desperately wants to explain herself. I am over it, and so are you.

--

Anyway, I'm not feeling well. I threw up a lot last night. Just couldn't get to sleep. Woke up this morning, and threw up again. So I headed to the docs. Dr Thiow said that my food weren't properly digested.

Cha cha remember last night, when you asked me what was wrong with my tummy and I told you I probably had too much shit in it? I was kinda true.

Hah. Meeting Zachary later at 6-ish then off to Uncle Fendi's place. I need to get a coupla issues of Thrasher. Does anyone have one? Or Transworld would be fine.

--

Oh. And I realise that I am attracted to androgynous looking girls. Those with very short boyish hair. Thin and tall.

I gotta take in my medication. One's to soften my stool(hahahahaha!!!!!) and the other's for nausea.

Saddens.

2008-07-06T19:20:00.003+08:00

In the midst of walking around Parkway with my dad today, I suddenly emo-ed off. Because it struck me that I spent the whole of today shopping. Not only does it waste time. It wastes money too.

I could've been out working on my TCP work. Or at least be at the red dot museum getting myself a polaroid after being inspired. Or even better still, be at home.

Where have all my floating colours flown to? Now my mind's just thinking about 45 million things at once that I don't even know what I'm really thinking about. So it's just as good as not thinking about anything at all. NA DAAAH.

Bai bai. Tar tar. Sauce.

In Search of Sunrise

2008-07-06T00:25:00.002+08:00

I've spent 3 hours today listening to Tiesto. It makes me want to hit Zouk. Anyway, the whole day, my mind's been filled up with lots of colors. It's like floating in my head but it gives me so much excitement. I love colors. I know it's really weird for me to type this out to public. But what the hell, I just felt as if I needed to update.

Anyway, for the next two weeks, I'll be working on,

4 Colors
Because I am..

I am especially excited for number 2! Pola pola pola roid! That's about it I guess. I'm going to continuing physically bum around my room, listening to Tiesto sets, while mentally, I brainstorm ideas to impress.

Au revoir! For now.

Pain.

2008-07-04T11:03:00.002+08:00

Hi. I've cancelled all plans for my 21st. So that means, no full swing Zouk, no Sentosa and no Singfest even. It doesn't matter to me anymore. Really doesn't. I'm sorry CF for making you all hyped up a few days ago.

PISSED OFF

2008-07-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

I am very very very very pissed off. I am aggravated.

So. This girl I sorta have a thing with is now seeing my cousin. Ethan and Ashley are seeing each other.

''How's your cousin like?''
''Looney''
''Hahah ok''
''Why?''
''Nothing. I think he's cute''

KANINABEH CHAO CHIBAI! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. FIRST, THE EXBF. NOW THIS. SHE PROBABLY MESSAGED ME OUT OF THE BLUE TO PISS ME OFF. PEOPLE LIKE THIS AR SHOULD DIE. AND ETHAN YOU ALSO ANOTHER CHIBAI. AFTER YOU MET ASHLEY CAN STILL COME TO MY HOUSE AT 2AM AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED.

FUCK YOU. BYE.

Burnt.

2008-07-03T09:06:00.002+08:00

Ethan came at like 2am this morning. He wanted to quote chill-out and sleepover unquote. I actually had things to do but obviously did not get down to doing them. So again, I procrastinate. But we didn't do anything much anyway since he has school at 9(which is supposed to be now but he decided to skip a class).

His awful phone woke me up. It was playing techno. Grahhh the kinda songs people set for alarms. Now I'm having breakfast and he is getting ready to go to school.

I left my bread in the toaster for too long. Like I left it there and got out of the kitchen to bumm and the next thing I know, my kitchen was in smokes. I remember the last time I tried to whip something up for my hungry tummy. I was too lazy to fry the chicken patty thingum so I put it in the oven toaster. Later, I saw flames in the toaster. Even after I switched it off.

What a wreck.

I'm so excited for today, it's about all I can think of. Heheheheha! I want wholemeal bread from Cold Storage ): My dad bought some imitation wholemeal bun which doesn't even taste like bread. It's so dry and bland and when I spread cream cheese, it feels like I'm eating cream cheese on tissue or something.

Gomenasai, but I have to go!

Ents.

2008-07-02T20:37:00.003+08:00

TODAY WAS SO FUNNY!! Thank you Eeth! Lubch dubch ew.

So right, I turned in early last night because I was beyond tired. I haven't had proper sleep since Saturday I think and it was all just taking a toll on my body. Anyway, Ethan promised me out for fun today! And we had fun! Lotsa!

(Good lord I sound like a 14 year old CHIJ bimbo)

So Eth wanted to get his hair cut but he wanted it done somewhere else after having bad experiences with the ones near his place. And I, I just wanted to head to Parkway to shop. Me and my undying love for Parkway Parade. Fo`eva yo! We took a long ride down to Parkway and a familiar face boarded the bus at Katong. She's cute. We alighted at the same stop and I purposely let her out first so she could at least smile at me and say thank you. And she did (: And it made me a little happy.

Ethan got his hair cut at those $10 for 10 minutes speedy cut kiosks thing and it looks awesome! It used to be all frizzy wao-your-hair-damn-big-can kinda style. Like a Jared Leto cum Brandon Boyd cannot make it kind. HAHAHA! But now it's neat. And they really finished it in 10 minutes. Even after additional alterations!

Oh!! They used this vacuum cleaner sucker thingum instead of a hair dryer. HAHAHA IT'S SO FUNNY! IT EVEN HAS IT'S OWN LIKE BRISTLES AT THE END WHICH ACTS AS HAIR BRUSH!

Ok then after that we headed to Topman because they don't have Jil Sander. And we bought basics. I bought 3 plain tees. Red, baby blue and grey. I bought a pair of jeans too. I don't think I'm going to spend anymore money on clothes. For now.

I cabbed home. Got home and played with Michael for a wee bit then I talked to Ary and she had a lot of fun laughing at me. Dunno what I said that's so funny.

Tomorrow, it's gonna be Nikon D70s, me in my new costume and a whole lot of impressing to do.

I'm so happy I want to make out. Preferably with Lauren.

Another oh. Jasmine! There's this girl I saw in the morning at the gym who looks just like you!

Ok dah bai bai.

Reflections.

2008-07-01T22:23:00.003+08:00

Note to self:

One more month, it's all you've got. You either win and be on top or lose and not be able to progress, ever. You are all you have now. You're the only person you can count on. Friends don't matter. You don't need them. Girlfriends; that's the last thing you should include in your life. It's not just about letting one girl ruining your prospect of being in a relationship, it's about prioritizing.

Tongues wag and sometimes these talks just bring you down. Pulls you down. But at the end of the day, it's up to you. Accept it or not. If you take in their remarks, take it constructively. If you can choose to ignore, then that'd be a much better choice.

You have failed, not once, not twice, but countless of times. You have failed yourself and it's not going to happen again. It must never happen again.

Good luck now Chris Leong, you'll be just fine alone.

I'm taking the most recent failure as another wake up call. I am morose about it but I don't regret. I have finally learnt. No more 'if only I had more time'/'I should've done better'. I will pull through.

Messed up.

2008-06-29T23:32:00.002+08:00

If you want to leave, please just do so. I don't appreciate you leaving me texts everyday, telling me redundant things and asking me questions that don't even matter anymore. You don't matter anymore. You've done some clarifications the other night, and I comprehend them well. I get it. It's easy to fake a smile. To pretend to be joyous. But it's slowly worning me out. And you keep dropping by, for small talks about the boy. I hope you realise I've been disregarding your presence. Because it's what you want.

''Nothing has ended because we were nothing, to start off with''

Show me.

Oh Mandy

2008-06-29T04:12:00.002+08:00

One minute you're way up high, on cloud 9. The next thing you know, you're back down again. Same shit, different day.

So I've concluded, that in this crazy era, being nice to others does no good to yourself.

To my dearest CF(hahaha I'm DF!),
I've got a new playlist, with no sappy songs! They're still nice though but can never beat our all time favourite. I'll send the buncha songs to you 'cos you're the only one who appreciates my music.

Wtf 4.20am and I'm still awake. Must be crazy.

Rant.

2008-06-28T01:10:00.002+08:00

It's like a whirlwind. And me; I'm just too tired to even elaborate. Fuck it. I'm too tired to even think.

I don't know what went wrong. I was honest. But you weren't. I want to try not to put all the blame on you. But I just can't. What did I do wrong? Tell me.

Before I waste more of my emotions on you, motherfucker. I'd better stop this relationship. It's over. Now we can play pretend I never existed in your life and vice versa. You wouldn't even care anyway.

-

I feel stupid. I wanted to fuck you because I was drunk. It is an excuse but I feel more used than you.

Goodnight.

Before you say goodbye

2008-06-27T03:17:00.002+08:00

Infected Mushroom at Zouk this Saturday.

Ashley wants me gooo but I don't know. Looking at how messy my dining table is with human anatomy sketches, I think I'd be better off spending quality time with my art mediums.

But. Zouk sounds. Really. Really. Fun.

My friends always ask me,"What's heaven to you?"

Heaven to me is being with Bruna Tenorio in the day, talking about everything and laughing at nothing then head off to Zouk during night time.

Life would be so damn awesome don't you think?

P.S This is really random but, I just realised, Brody and I kinda look alike. Sooooo. Do you know what that means? (It means, if I ever get to meet Lauren Conrad, there's a possibility that she'd think I'm cute right since she thinks Brody's kinda cute)

HAHAHAHA FULL OF SHIAT COS IT'S 3.30AM and I'm not watching soccer.

BOOHOO!

2008-06-26T02:04:00.002+08:00

Plans changed. I won't be going for Singfest. Sorry Hanszo! Hah. It's just that. My Emporio Armani watch is more important than watching other humans perform. Also, I think I'll be too tired for Singfest after Zouk full swing.

Guess who came by today!
Ashley came by today!

[:

Nothing much though. Did very little catching up. She asked me to come for Zouk this Saturday. I made no promises. I still need to get her present though. Ashley, I think I'm going to get you hamsters. Since you want them so much.

I'm fucking sleepy

Party 21 commencement.

2008-06-24T17:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my first shot at education again. Ahah. Didn't turn up for the first lesson. I got up late so I missed it. Went for design class at 1. Thanks to Yeong, the whole class knew I was at Zouk last Saturday (and had a blast!). We didn't do anything much really. Just did Photoshop basics and stuff. And then the class brought me to see this poster because they said the dude looked like me and I'm like.

"Fucking impossible!"
"No, seriously. It's you!"
"What poster is it?"
"Kinda teaches you what to do when there's no school"
"-__-"
"Yeah like get so wasted at Zouk!"

In the end, it was some lame ass poster for a scholarship programme which had this dude giving a thumbs up to the camera. The dude isn't me.

T'was fun.

-

Ash's birthday is tomorrow. We haven't texted since like Sunday. I know it's only be what 2 days and I'm trynna make it seem as if we haven't talked for ages. But. You know. I wanna text but I don't want to. Maybe I'll just wish her tonight and see how it goes?

-

Hans, Zachary, Ethan and I are planning a party. We call it 'Party 21'. HAHAHA! It's gonna go on for like 3 days I think.

Aug 1 - Sentosa all day.
Aug 2 - Zouk all night, full swing!
Aug 3 - Wake up with a badass hangover and get ready for Singfest!

Sounds like fun?

Who killem in the UK?

2008-06-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

Last night was fun, chugging down large cans of beer before partying. A tequila shot and a whole jug of long island. All for me. Zouk was full house. But it was good. The music was fucking awesome. But after Zouk was better.

Come get some.

Hah inside.

Anyway, I woke up late for work. Ashley sent me to Raffles Place interchange.

"Aren't you gonna pick up!"
"No. I don't answer numbers I don't know"
"LET ME ANSWER THAT!"
"HE HE. Oright."

We texted the whole day, being honest and understanding the whole situation so all's cool. We don't know want things to go awkward in time to come and shit.

Anyway fanboy's gonna be in action now. Off to go gaga over Lauren Conrad and her hotness. I bet a certain someone must be all like, "EWWWWWWW!''

2008-06-21T13:51:00.000+08:00

Jamie and baby Michael came home just now. I carried him and gave him a mini tour around the house! Showed him my room and also told him that he's going to get his own. But we can share clothes once he can fit in my Jil Sander and pairs of Dior Homme. But it's quite boring talking to him after some time because he doesn't respond. His eyes are close like all the time I think. And he can't even laugh! I think he can make weird noises but he hasn't done so with me.

Anyway, he's right beside me now. We're lying down on my bed and and and listening to DIGITALISM! I will make sure he grows up to good music.

"My name is Michael Joel Leong Kar Wai. I grew up listening to Daft Punk, Digitalism and the Killers thanks to my brother."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA DOPE! But still a bit gross.

2008-06-20T18:02:00.000+08:00

I'm at Parkway Parade now and there's a roadshow going on. They're blasting Sean Kingston. I fucking hate that fatass. He looks like a whale. And weighs like a mini elephant. Plus, his voice is irritating. How did he achieve superstardom?

I didn't bring my cool headphones so I cannot listen to Romeo and Juliet on my iTunes. Bleah. I'm with Hans now. He's studying Economics I think. I don't get it. He tried teaching me but I guess I'm too stupid for that. He looks bored and distracted. He keeps playing with his hair. Hmm he's all dressed and I'm pretty sloppy.

Me You seem really distracted.
Hans I am. Fuck Econs.
Me Hahah!

I'm sleepy. I have nothing to study for and my Lifebook is dying soooo I dont know what I'll do when it dies. I think I'll just doodle nonsense. Or think of screen layouts. I need 3!

?

2008-06-19T02:26:00.000+08:00

Note to self:

Must not be too lazy to charge Jil(phone) and my PSP.
Must wake up on time when setting alarms.
Must do these things before I even begin to shut my eyes.
Must stop putting Romeo & Juliet on repeat, every night.
Must be more diligent.
Must not be a quitter.
Must stop this ideology that a smoker can never quit.
Must have determination.
Must stop wasting money on cabs.
Must go to sleep now if I want to wake up early tomorrow.

Chao chao romano!

2008-06-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

Plan 1: Meet Ethan and head to Raffles Place to wait for Zachary to knock off from work then watch the Incredible Hulk in town.

Failed.

Plan 2: Meet Ethan, join him and his friends at Sentosa to bask in the sun and have fun?

Failed.

Plan 3: Stay at home and finish up skull atlas.

Failed.

Plan 4: Go to East Coast for a run.

Failed.

So in the end, I went out to Raffles City with Nicole. I had Burger King for lunch, an upsized Whopper meal. Throughout lunch, I had weird stares. I think it's because I was eating like a pig. But nvm. After the okay-lah-quite-huge lunch, I was still hungry so I consumed 8 pieces of fried mars bars. SIGH, SO NICE. Then we basically went aimless. Hokay, we headed to Esplanade and I bought 4 cookies, a blueberry muffin and 2 rocky road brownies from Mrs Fields. Took a bus to town 'cos I felt like going to Borders but they didn't have anything nice. I guess they too knew that I was broke.

Oh on my way home, I bumped into x. She was actually right behind but I never realised so she called me. And I was like,"Wtf x is calling!". I think I said it loud. So when she tapped my shoulder, I was taken aback. But anyway, the stupid part was. I was typing a message meant for Erin.

It went like this,

"I bumped into that bastard at Orchard. She was right behind then she called then I was like, wtf x is calling me. I think I said it quite loud"

I SENT IT TO THE WRONG PERSON. I DID NOT SEND IT TO ERIN BUT I SENT IT TO X INSTEAD! DAMN WTF OMG SHIT HOW!

x replied,

"Oh.... Ok then"

So I tried to calm myself down. Now that I've calmed down, I want to ransack the kitchen for food. Buhbye!